@BlindVigil: "Impeccable" sounds like a general immunity to crow attacks...
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@Midgetspar: If I was a police sketch artist I wouldn't listen to the victim. I'd draw a majestic gay dragon then flip it over and be all, "Is this him."
@flashember: WIFE: Will he ever wake up? DOCTOR: Only a shocking truth will do it W: i sold his pet hamster ME *eyes fly open* WHERE HAS THEODORE GONE
@TweetsByTheTony: In pretty sure my wife's most prized possession is her plastic bag full of other plastic bags.
@lawyerthoughts: Dear law students: my opposing counsel just asked her witness how old she was when she turned 18. You'll be fine.