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@GrowlyGrego: I have an extensive library of over 2,000 classic, important books just in case you have a question about the first 54 pages of one of them.
@Diversion50: I once had an epileptic fit during my turn at a game of charades. Everyone just kept yelling, "HOW MANY WORDS?" and "IS IT THE EXORCIST?".
@AristotlesNZ: I gave my 1yo a chocolate covered raisin. He chewed, paused, then gave me a look that told me he will never trust another human being again.