@SamuelMoen: Impress your date. Be wild. Flip the table. Flip it 360 so its upright again & nothing has moved except a roll that has flown into her mouth
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@michaelianblack: "God" not mentioned in Democratic platform means they don't worship God. "Money" mentioned eleven times in Republican platform.
@KeetPotato: honey, i think the milk's gone bad "i only bought it yesterday" yeah well, look at this.. *milk is running a meth lab in the fridge*
@PwrFulWmn: You attract more men when you smell like butter, sautéed ham and onions than any expensive perfume.