@Mr_Mike_Clarke: Improve your DVD collection by simply attaching googly eyes!
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@osigat: When I was young, I wanted to date a doctor for money. How superficial was that? Now it would be for the prescriptions.
@TheTweetOfGod: I am the King of the Universe and I have a son and he occasionally appears on grilled-cheese sandwiches. #yup
@too_chihuahua: Dad I'm gay *Dad rips newspaper* "WHAT" I like guys dad "Oh thank god. I thought you were happy for a second"
@Douchekevin: Girlfriend told me she wants me to pull her hair , but apparently not while she's driving. Girls are weird.