@jjhartinger: In 20 years, I bet there's going to be a college course called eye contact.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Reverend_Scott: *calls boss* Me: I can't come to work. Boss: Why not? Me: Gotham city needs me. Boss: ...You're not Batman. Me: Oh, yes, yes, exaaaactly.
@tourettzgoth: Keep an identical glass of vodka next to the glass of water on your bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette
@shadygeekdad: When I know I've posted a great tweet, I walk away from my phone in slow motion like I'm Jason Statham walking from an explosion.
@SortaBad: Sometimes at the airport I'll ask a stranger if they have an iphone charger and if they do I take mine out and say "nice, me too"