@jjhartinger: In 20 years, I bet there's going to be a college course called eye contact.
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@JasonLastname: If a shark attacks you, DO NOT punch him in the nose. Be the bigger person and just ignore him.
@CantWaitToNap: When a cop gently helps you in his car, promises you an overnighter & talks about bonding, he isn't taking you on a date... I know this now.
@samalmightysam: I don't like to brag about going to expensive places, but I just went to the gas station.