@Perfect_Beanis: in 2001 i was in a coma dying from meningitis and someone played "in the end" by linkin park and i woke up to tell them to turn it off
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@noneofyours99: * thinks of a tweet before falling asleep * decided to remember a "key word* so I can remember it * wakes up * forgot key word
@DennisLWeaver: Friend: I love FB but it's gettin a lil boring. Me: Well that's cause all the cool peeps are on Twi- ..uh are all dead. Yeah they all died.
@Tommytoughstuff: [Jail] INMATE: I killed a guy. SCOOBY DOO VILLAIN: I got caught trying to haunt an old warehouse by a bunch of teenagers and a talking dog.
@KalvinMacleod: Their palms are sweaters, knees sweatery, arms are sweaters. There's more sweater on their sweater already.