@elle91: In 3rd grade the bus driver missed my house but I was too embarrassed to say anything so I got off at the last stop and started a new life.
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@Rick_IZ: People who lick their fingers then page through the papers on the printer Just throw it out. I'll print it again.
@MakesYouGiggle: Yes I delete tweets when they don't live up to my expectations. Just be glad I don't have kids.
@capricecrane: What they say: "Wow, you're really photogenic." What they mean: "Wow, this looks nothing like how ugly you actually are."
@shopkins776: I took two years of anger management courses Now I'm the manager of four brand new anger stores