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@LionJenkins: [In a chair]
@iTomFoolery: I mixed coffee with Red Bull, now I can see the invisible things my kitten pounces on.
@CroweJam: My wife's favorite position is the one where I lie very still wearing nothing but a toe tag and she starts dating again.
@NotJPo: I just ate so much Chinese food that now I'm able to use algorithms based on linear algebra to solve large numerical systems.
@murrman5: *wife sees me grab emergency kit from trunk after getting a flat tire*
calm down brent just call a tow tru*I'm already shooting flare gun*
@PissAndry: These boots were made for walking, and that's just what they'll do. One of these day--oh goddamn it. Did you glue these to the floor, Carl?!