@gobmentcheese: In a crowded elevator, tell all the tall people they have to get in the back because you're going to take a group photo.
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@BasicLyes: Remote start, keyless entry, feature allows me the privilege of losing my keys- while I'm driving.
@Proxic0n: SCIENTIST: Behold The self-esteem powered car! Come take it for a drive ME: uh okay *gets in* [CAR JUST LITERALLY FALLS APART]
@Jaywoo74: Wife: Are you coming or not? Me: Is there gonna be alcohol? Wife: It's your grandmother's funeral! M:... Wife: NO! Me: Then I'm not coming.