@gobmentcheese: In a crowded elevator, tell all the tall people they have to get in the back because you're going to take a group photo.
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@KattsDogma: Cop: license & registration Magician: Check this out *levitates license* Cop: I see. Your license is suspended. Check THIS out *$75 ticket*
@ella__fraser: Men that know the difference between moist and wet, know the difference between failure and success
@TheThryll: CAMPING TIP: If you get lost in the woods, a compass can help you get lost more north.