@RealSugarFree: In a misguided attempt to become a superhero I let a spider bite me. My super power became crying louder than a newborn.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ComedicBust: I asked my gf not to wear any panties in hopes of spicing things up, but she ignored me and just kept rolling around, being a watermelon.
@ImSoFrancis: Drug Dealer: are you wearing a wire? Me: the only wire I'm wearing is why're you still single? Cops Outside In Van: *collective groan*
@AristotlesNZ: This dog must been at some wild ass party last night. He still wearing a lampshade around his neck.
@ThaJawn: (Kid's Bday Party) Kid: Who are you? I'm you, from the future, don't eat that cake! K: *puts cake down, runs away crying *eats his cake