@RealSugarFree: In a misguided attempt to become a superhero I let a spider bite me. My super power became crying louder than a newborn.
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@TheAlexP: * wishes on shooting star " the wish you have wished for has already been taken, please try again"
@neiltyson: I wonder what Cannibals & Aztecs would say, watching civilized people eat symbolic hearts of loved ones on Valentine’s Day.
@SuperRandomish: Me: *singing "Don't stop believing"* Joe: What are you doing? Me: Practicing for Journey duty J: You mean Jury duty? M: No, it says...shit
@RudeComedian: Me: Mom...Dad. I've decided to live on my own from now on. Parents: ok, cool. Me: Your luggage is outside