@DeadLioness: In a parallel universe, a zebra is walking around her contemporary decorated house, on top of a skinned blonde chick with big hoops rug.
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@SondraDeeMe: [Skype] ME: Finally I see your face and wow. HIM: [naked] Where are you?! ME: Starbucks. Wanna meet a few friends? They like your tweets.
@galiamango: I need plastic surgery to fix whatever it is about my face that gives people the impression I want to hear about their relationship problems
@davedittell: can't believe Jesus was born on Christmas and died on Easter, what are the odds? still, he accomplished a lot for a four month year old.