@mjkspeaks: In a parallel universe calories are trying to burn people.
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@TheClingyGF: If you're not cheating on me, then why won't you let me install surveillance cameras in your house.
@wife3kidsnodogs: How come an extremely angry woman can pack everything she owns in an hour, but it takes her a week to pack for vacation?
@KalvinMacleod: Genie: 1st wish ME: I wish for a pen G: #2 M: another pen G: wtf M: I already lost the 1st pen G: and ur 3rd M: ur not going to believe this