@FaisalAdam_: In a parallel universe, cartoons are watching us and thinking "how sad, they die if you drop an anvil on their heads..."
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@heatherlou_: Having one bathroom in your house teaches you that it is possible to hate a person because of a bathroom.
@craiguito: RIP the dinosaurs. Can't believe it's 65 million years already. Always in my thoughts
@BGH70: When choosing a heart medicine, always pick the one that causes, "significantly less bleeding." Less bleeding is good for not being dead.
@Ristolable: Me at 20: I'm smarter than everyone in the world Me at 28: I am so smart for going to the cheaper gas station