@TylerLinkin: In a parallel universe, one sock goes in the washer/dryer and two come out.
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@KaRaRacn75: Don't be alarmed when you're knocking on the Gates of hell and the devil doesn't answer....He is dealing with me.
@stephenjmolloy: Undertaker: "What do you want your husbands gravestone to say?" Wife: "Nothing. I want a traditional, non-talking one."
@realHamOnWry: Cat: What are you doing? Me: Reloading my bong Cat: You really need it? Me: I know my limits, why? Cat: You know cats can't talk, right?
@DiscoFruit: [dies and goes to hell] me: "mom? dad!? what are you doing here!" dad: "we used to switch your food with the dog's food sometimes."