@jwoodham: In a parallel universe somewhere, all the Pumpkin Spice Lattes are getting really excited for White Girl season at Starbucks.
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@KyleMcDowell86: [Girl from Willy Wonka turns into a blueberry] Wonka: Call in The Blue Man Group! [Blue Man Group rolls her out while singing Eiffle 65]
@meganamram: Don't have money for a cab so I keep calling ambulances and telling them I feel better when I'm close to my destination
@juliussharpe: Before you get married ask yourself: is this the person you want to watch stare at their phone the rest of your life?