@Sal0630: In a perfect world anyone that said they, “literally died,” would drop dead on the spot.
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@NoogsCorner: The first guy to ever throw water at girl in a white shirt probably broke the record for the number of high-fives received in one minute.
@TheCiscoKidder: Mom: Some stranger keeps answering your land line. Me: That's because I haven't had a land line in 7 years, Ma.
@MyHairyLife: Subway calling their employees sandwich artists must really piss off people who actually paint sandwiches for a living.