@WilliamAder: In a perfect world, the phrase "axe body spray" would only be used to refer to blood splatter patterns.
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@whereami18: I hope my kids love the gifts they receive for Christmas so I'll have more things to take away when I need to punish them
@decentbirthday: Buddha: all life is suffering Me: alright dude, chill out. they said your food would be out in ten minutes
@CruisinSoozan: I don't want to alarm anyone but I've purchased a ukulele. Soon as I can jam, there'll be auditions for my band behind the 7-11. NO WEIRDOS
@audipenny: Him: you look tired today Me: you look like you need a mouth that says better sentences