@pantsfaced: In a recent sleep study performed by clowns 9 out of 10 people didn't even know they were being watched.
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@TheWriteStuff2u: Boss made me put a nametag over my left bosom. I leaned over and said, "Now, what shall we name the other one?"
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Overheard 2 dad's at the playground wondering if my kid was as creepy as me. Joke's on them. I don't have kids.
@BromanConsul: "Is your refrigerator running?" "Hasn't decided yet," I say, winking at my refrigerator & hanging up. A "FRIDGE 2016" banner hangs above him
@WilliamAder: Shattner didn't go to Nimoy's funeral, and Obama's been on the phone all weekend with the Vulcan ambassador, trying to smooth things over.