@That_Damn_Duck: In a recent survey 9 out of 10 bros actually chose Ho's over each other.
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@jackiembouvier: Friend: I'm getting married! Me: I suffer from IBS. F: Why are you telling me that? M: I thought we were just stating unfortunate truths.
@kibblesmith: Hey "La La Land" remember when you gave us that fake happy ending and then took it away How's it feel
@slyoung5: Irritating friend: I passed your house yesterday. Me: Thanks. I really appreciate that.