@LoverOfComics94: In a survival situation, you can drink your own urine. Fortunately, my Wi-Fi came back on just as I was filling the can.
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@Crutnacker: Why Seth MacFarlane's Oscars were mean spirited and misogynistic, coming up next after our review of the worst dressed women.
@hammbone84: [On phone with Pizza Hut] Me: I texted my order 4 hrs ago! PH: Are you sure you didn't tweet it...again? Me: PH: Sir? Me: K. Love you. Bye.
@SteveDutzy: *Makes joke on Twitter* *5 Retweets* *Makes same joke on Facebook* *5 comments from aunts saying that the joke was inappropriate*