@AndyRichter: In all honesty, my new dating service, "Well You're Not So Great Yourself" hasn't really taken off like I'd hoped.
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@Darlainky: Kids today will never know what it's like to have a 3rd grade teacher who teaches every subject and even serves as dentist on fluoride day.
@unravelingfire: Researcher: By 2030, life expectancy is predicted to increase globally by 6 years. Southerner: [pouring mac and cheese into deep fryer] No.