@bea_ker: [in ambulance]
"Can you describe the snake that bit you?"
Yes it was like an angry rope
@thenoahkinsey: *phone rings*
Luke: WTF VADER'S MY DAD?
L: And you knew & told me to kill him?
Y: Going thru a tunnel I am
@murrman5: [park bench with girlfriend]
so you're dumping me because you don't think I'm smart?
great and now sky water
@10InchesPlus: Did Batman know that Alfred was embezzling billions to finance a 4-person Magic act that was a front for robbing banks?
@sofarrsogud: I had a dream that I was fighting Jason Bourne, Will Hunting and Tom Ripley.
After months of therapy I'm finally battling my Damons.
@juliagalef: Still my favorite headline of all time: