@NicestHippo: In America, we decide to bomb people after a week of reflection, but have debated the legality of smoking a plant for 40 years
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@dril: oerdering 40 plates of baby back ribs on a stolen credit card so that i can get enough wet naps to clean my entire body #JustGuyShit #normal
@mrtruthandsoul: No thanks, ads to buy more followers; I get them the old-fashioned way: by telling them they're gonna die and I can save them.
@rickygervais: Do let me know if you're ever unhappy with any of my Tweets. I will block you immediately. Anything to stop you being sad. You're welcome :)
@2questionable: Most googled search terms today Before the eclipse: How to make my own cereal box viewer? After: How to tell if my cornea is sunburned?