@AndrewChamings: In an alternate universe there is only one movie about falling in love, but thousands about swapping faces with John Travolta.
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@QwertyJones3: I joined a poker tournament with a bunch of people who do origami. I'm gonna dominate, cause these guys always fold.
@UnFitz: Her: You ate that entire bag of fried cheese snacks? Him: Thought you said they were baked. Her: I said YOU were baked.
@kentgrossarth: Me: Nice flowers. Co-worker: They're from my boyfriend. Now I'm going to spend all weekend w/my legs in the air. Me: Don't you have a vase?