@DancesWithTamis: In an incredible turn of events we've been informed that the zodiac killer has killed himself after being mistaken for Ted Cruz
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@lawking30: Making NSA work hard today: just left vm for Senator saying, "drop-off done" & then made a hair appointment at a salon in Lahore, Pakistan.
@AimeeHelene1: *Husband forgets to close screen on door* *4 hrs later* Me: *feels furriness on my leg in bed* *rolls over* Squirrel: *stares*
@seantgreen: One of Jesus' most impressive accomplishments was being 33 years old and still having 12 really close friends.