@iLiveSilent: In Ancient Days, Newscasters Kept You Updated On The Latest News Happening Flat The World.
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@seamussaid: son you're getting older and one way I show my trust in you is letting you tackle some tough jobs on your own; bathing the cat for starters
@iwearaonesie: me: What? A lot of people launch shopping carts across parking lots wife: Yeah but they take the kid out first! son *screaming*
@the_paramedicK: *proposes to girlfriend* *accidentally drops ring in the street* "I'll still marry you" Sorry, I'm married to the streets now
@SteveKoehler22: Why do countries "cut ties" when things get tense ? So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.