@Aspersioncast: In Australia what doesn't kill you is probably just saving you for the sharks.
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@thenatewolf: If you ever quit twitter, instead of writing something sanctimonious, write "About to go skydiving. Wish me luck!" and then never post again
@AnniemuMary: Two sales people approached me at the furniture store. I'm following the one who called me Miss. The Hello Ma'am one should take note.
@daemonic3: [1st date] HER: So do you have any hobbies? SALT SHAKER: Nice dress! It would look great on my floor HER: What?! HIM: Just ventriloquism
@krustythe_klown: WTH! @ The audience that just sat and watched the first ever magician to saw a lady in half.