@boom_goes_the: In biblical times, I would have given your dad so many goats for you.
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@Steelers1972: For Sale : Used Facebook account ~ get up to the minute weather forecast, religious counseling and countless pictures of Jenny's cat.
@girlontapas: I could've chosen a life of crime but it seems like it would interfere with my 9pm bedtime.
@FatherWithTwins: Me: *yells something Wife: I can't hear you Me: *whispers something under my breath Wife: I heard that!!
@brynnester: [Flight] Cabin Crew: The pilot & co are dead. Is there anyone on board who can fly the plane? Harrison Ford: I can CC: Anyone else at all?