@RatBatallion: In Canada, Miles Davis is known as Kilometers Davis.
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@AristotlesNZ: 5yo: I dropped my damn spoon! Me: Don't be using that word! 5yo: Is it a bad word? Me: It is.. 5yo: Ok..I dropped my damn "food scooper"?
@MoistPork: Men: Don't lie to your woman, she'll catch you. Don't tell her the truth, she'll be pissed. Just pray for a brick to fall on your head.
@mikefossey: (I get an amber alert for a missing child) OK its my time to shine (I get in my car and back out without looking and instantly hit the kid)
@jdforshort: "Hitting it hard as shit" and "tickling the hole" are not phrases that I would have associated with golf before today