@RatBatallion: In Canada, Miles Davis is known as Kilometers Davis.
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@WhatevaConc: People immediately behave better in traffic once they notice the Elf on the Shelf tied to my grille.
@WheelTod: Now kids have it easy. When I was young, the hot singles in my area had to walk the streets yelling they wanted sex with me thru a megaphone
@jonesination: "The Ugly Duckling" has a great message. Everything in life will work itself out once you become physically attractive.