@mellimelle: In case anyone asks, we found these dead hookers while we were digging holes in the woods.
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@JoParkerBear: I am officially lowering my dating standards to include anyone who may have access to a swimming pool. I will learn to love you. Call me.
@CallousBalzac: BRITS: Put extra vowels in all of the words! WELSH: Fckn Brts tk r vwls. Lts jst mk nw wrds wtht thm, xcpt y. Y cn sty.
@bourgeoisalien: Hey, Christianity- what's all the fuss about a virgin anyway? I could be a virgin if I wanted to. But I don't. Because sex. Also? More sex.
@TankCesar: My doctor tells me I'm healthy enough for sexual activity...I'm just not attractive enough.