@Brentweets: "In case of emergency break glass" Who do you think I am? Some sort of karate expert? I can't even open a Cheetos bag.
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@goldengateblond: “She liked it but it didn’t have a bay window for her cat,” said the House Hunters narrator before walking into the sea.
@myonlymizztake: My date didn't go as planned and now I don't know what to do with this kiddie pool full of nacho cheese.
@Mister_Gravity: I'm usually pretty inspired after watching a movie to try something I've just seen. [hunts for a movie about cleaning bathrooms]