@Brentweets: "In case of emergency break glass" Who do you think I am? Some sort of karate expert? I can't even open a Cheetos bag.
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@trentistweeting: "Hey Iron Man, how'd you get your powers?" *flashes back to tony stark being bitten by a radioactive ironing board*
@ceejoyner: wife: you're listening to too much theatrical heavy metal Me: behold! The weaver of lies! A dark seamstress of shadows lurks amongst us
@murrman5: "911" you gotta help, my wife is in labour in the backseat "how far apart are the contractions?" about 2 miles but I'm driving pretty fast
@trustmedaddy: My favorite part of going out is when I sneak out the club without saying bye to anyone to go home and sleep