@XplodingUnicorn: In case you wondered how much patience I have for questions today, I just told my 4-year-old the sky is blue because I said so.
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@ElleOhHell: "The new iPhone 6 is bigger!" Meh. "It has more sensors!" Pfft. "You can block group texts." I WOULD LIKE ONE THOUSAND OF YOUR IPHONE
@UncleDuke1969: I've got 99 problems... <snap> 98 problems. <snap> 97 problems. <snap> 96 problems. <snap> BRB... I need to buy more mousetraps.
@MichaelGoffLA: I bought one follower just to see what it was like and he showed up at my job and his name is Eddie and he’s kind of freaking me out guys.
@JasonLastname: Whoever invented popcorn deserves the Medal of Honor for not panicking after the first 45 seconds.