@XplodingUnicorn: In case you wondered how much patience I have for questions today, I just told my 4-year-old the sky is blue because I said so.
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@weinerdog4life: When I'm in a conference room all by myself I like to pretend I'm having a very important meeting with chairs about chair shit.
@HatfieldAnne: My strong stance on drinking milk straight from the carton has met with no opposition from people who haven’t caught me yet.
@causticbob: If you're using public transport never give up your seat to an old lady... That's how I lost my job as a bus driver.