@ArinLeeMorris: In China the labels read, "Made by someone you know."
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@LeBearGirdle: [invents time machine and goes back to the dinosaurs] "in a few years its gonna be really cold" *hands them mixtape* "you're gone need this"
@GrantTanaka: Txt from wife: where r u Me:kitchen Wife:can u feed cat M: I mean garage W:bring in laundry M:bathroom W:clean toilet M: Idaho W:get potatos
@robdelaney: Steve Jobs' entire legacy is invalidated by the shortness of the iPhone charger's cord.
@Rikidus: Saw 10: nickelback on repeat for 24 hours and to get out of the room you have to talk to Ann Coulter.