@amelialikesyou: In conclusion, members of the board, I'm sorry I brought the wrong USB, & thank you for your feigned interest in my sesame street PowerPoint
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@vjraines: Most women want a man who can make them laugh and also feel safe. So basically, a clown ninja. Good to know
@MindyFurano: person: can you keep a secret? me: I'll never share what you say but it will weigh on me and negatively affect my life person: oh thank god
@NoogsCorner: Superman's only weakness is the extremely rare Kryptonite that all his enemies have.
@LindaInDisguise: The worst walk of shame is the one back onto the crowded elevator after getting out on the wrong floor.