@ChipKellysBalls: In dog beers, I've only had one ...
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@ArfMeasures: WIFE: Carol's hubby gives her flowers EVERY day. I'd LOVE u to do that ME: Ok [next day] ME [giving Carol flowers] No I don't get it either
@withanewname: "Yes mam that'll be $1200" "Just to remove a cassette tape that's stuck?" "Ma'm, it's in your CD player"
@just1fool: Someday I'm gonna open a pawn shop and blow everyone's mind when I only sell rooks, bishops and knights.
@divatulips: Give me coffee to change the things i can change and wine to accept the things i can't.