@ChipKellysBalls: In dog beers, I've only had one ...
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@MartaEffing: When I'm with you, I'm breathless. My pulse quickens and I can feel my entire body getting hot. Also, you're a treadmill and I'm asthmatic.
@TheWoodenslurpy: [at stadium with child] Me: That is batball. [at the races] Me: That is horse circles. [at the opera] Me: This is horned yodeling.
@joci2203: I drank my recommended amount of water today, yay! Okay, well there was some vodka mixed in every cup, but still.