@iAmDelFreaky: In elementary I got all the chicks because my box of crayons had a built-in sharpener. Been on a dry spell ever since. Just me & my crayons.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@thatdutchperson: When you win a game of monopoly the owner of Hasbro shows up to hand you back the last 36 hours of your life.
@ArfMeasures: [Me as a boxing commentator] ME: Oh no, they're fighting again, this is just like last time
@BlondAmbitionTO: I wonder if serial killers watch Criminal Minds like chefs watch the Food Network: "Oh, bad move, I'd have done it this way..."
@TheToddWilliams: [NASCAR Press Conference] REPORTER: What's your race strategy? DRIVER: Fast circles