@cigarin: In every successful relationship the MAN always has the last word - "Yes Dear."
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@teenpuke: *cute person sends me a selfie* *tries 897285623895 times to take a cute selfie to send back to them*
@JohnLyonTweets: No, autocorrect, I'm not "pooping" popcorn. Not now anyway. Later, yes, but I don't plan to text about it.
@TheSadnesses: if I am elected governor I will eat your pillow while you sleep and unlike my opponent I will also do it if I am not elected
@ericONEderful: Apparently this isn't a nude beach. This isn't a beach at all. I'm at Target. Don't do drugs kids.