@AnnaKendrick47: In first grade when I'd tell my parents what I learned in class and they'd act amazed, I'd think "Shouldn't you know this shit already?"
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@markleggett: A bird in the hand is worth nothing and is probably giving you duck AIDS. Put it back.
@stonedcoldlazy: Today marks 5 yrs of being smoke free!! Now I spend my time finding new places to hide the bodies of those who've pissed me off!
@hippieswordfish: [1st date] *stuffing face* sorry i eat a lot when im nervous 'u know ur eating a candle right?' yah *points to napkin* u gonna finish that