@cookiejartales: In grocery store & guy grabs my hand,starts to walk.I go with him, till he turns & realizes I'm not his wife.We broke it off...Single again
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@robfee: The sequel to Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory is just a series of horrified people finding parts of missing kids in their chocolate bars
@Dawn_M_: Just once I'd like the guy hired to kill me to complete the job and not fall in love with me.
@Jake_Vig: Dear President of Mexico, DO NOT fall for Trump's old trick where he mumbles "guypayingtobuildthewallsayswhat?" and you say "What?"
@flashember: WIFE: Will he ever wake up? DOCTOR: Only a shocking truth will do it W: i sold his pet hamster ME *eyes fly open* WHERE HAS THEODORE GONE