@cookiejartales: In grocery store & guy grabs my hand,starts to walk.I go with him, till he turns & realizes I'm not his wife.We broke it off...Single again
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@bobvulfov: [getting out of prison after 10 years] GUARD: *handing me a paper bag* here are ur things ME: did none of u monsters feed my tamagotchi
@sammyrhodes: 1. Ask for something. 2. Throw it down. 3. Repeat steps 1 & 2. - Toddler To Do List
@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 1924. Franz Kafka died after a surrealistically charged life which should have its own adjective. Kafkastic? Kafkable?