@ObscureGent: In Harry Potter, a scar on your forehead means you're a hero. In real life, a scar on your forehead means you got drunk & lack coordination.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@nigelgodwin: I always have a suicide note in my shower so that i wont look stupid if i ever slip and crack my head
@nbadag: [very obviously being hit on] hahaha ok well, see you around [4 days later, cutting open a cantaloupe] wait a second
@Matt_The_1st: This is an emergency! *Begs to borrow strangers phone *starts scrolling through pics
@EviGarth: 'LSD makes users lose weight' That makes sense, it's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it.