@BridgetPhetasy: In Hell, all of your Google searches post directly to your social media accounts.
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@Try2StopME: Girl1: Why are you so happy? Girl2: I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said "Parking Fine"
@thepunningman: A Starbucks was robbed at gunpoint this afternoon. The culprits are still at venti.
@MrPudmansButler: If you never used that plastic thing that keeps pizza from sticking to the box lid as GI Joe's poker table you're too mature for me.
@KattsDogma: "How about we go with a gerund, but, like, maybe just half a gerund." - How ING Bank got its name