@hazelmotes1: In hell all the ball pits are filled with legos.
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@thepunningman: [on deathbed] "Tell my Wif... *cough*" Yes? Tell her what? "Tell my Wifi provider their broadband speeds were moderate at best" [dies]
@deardilettante: Walking around cemeteries looking at headstones is a great way to come up with baby names.
@kelkulus: They say don't dress for the job you have, but for the job you want. Still, I think I look pretty stupid waiting tables in a spacesuit.