@lovestained555: In hell the Mariachi band never leaves your table.
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@rickkondell: I overheard two female coworkers say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
@BGH70: When bagging my groceries make sure to keep the radioactive bananas away from the mercury laden tuna. That's too much death in one bag.
@Reverend_Scott: ME: Can you stop the car here? I wanna pet the dogs at that animal shelter. ARRESTING OFFICER: No.