@web_supergirl: In hell, your coworker never finishes opening a wrapper.
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@CabetoMejia: From 3am to 6am this morning I wanted to kill myself, but now I want some French toast. #cravings
@JosesLovesYou: For a hero, it's pretty cool that Mario is just a dude who ignores his real job, does mushrooms and smashes his head into things all day.
@Chumpstring: interviewer: what are your strengths me: when i was little i drew a picture of a beer so good my mom put it in the refrigerator and an hour later she tried to drink it interviewer: what about weaknesses me: my mom’s a mess