@eddiesteadyno: A fondue party... But instead of bread, it's more cheese. And instead of people, it's even more cheese.

@Naked_Superman: What does it mean when you sit next to an elderly woman on the bus and she shakes her head and makes the sign of the cross?

@Reverend_Scott: Then my wife left me, I became an alcoholic and started making meth in my basement but anyway take one candy bar each kids. Happy Halloween.

@jackiembouvier: Maybe, if I sit very still, this nice family at Olive Garden won't notice that I'm sitting at their table eating their bread sticks.

@summerofbenny: "I think this chlorine is healing my anal fissure." - Things not to say in a swimming pool. Apparently.