@TheRobCee: In hell, your mouth is always freshly brushed & minty, and all they have to drink is orange juice.
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@MumsieEsq: Tweets are like your children: you love them all at first, you never know how they’ll age, and most of them you regret creating.
@therealeatwood: ME: Leave me alone! You’re not my real dad! CRAWDAD: [patiently] I am doing my best to raise you on my own. Now eat your plankton.
@Jessdaisy: I'm "the cord popped out of the phone cause I tried to stretch it from the kitchen to my room" years old
@johnbiehl: Damn girl, if you was a fruit you'd be a fineapple, if you was a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital as often as I could.