@jake_lach: In hell, your socks are always wet
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@Mike_Bianchi: It's unfair to call me lactose intolerant when you consider what I'm willing to go through for lactose.
@mjkspeaks: [on phone with attorney] HIM: you're being charged for murder. ME: damn that sounds expensive i guess you can just put it on my Amex
@robfee: I feel like Frosted Flakes gives kids an unreasonable expectation of how friendly tigers are when you try to feed them a bowl of cereal.
@Sickayduh: Even the most racially sensitive person you know gets a little skeptical when the chef at a Chinese restaurant isn't Asian