@kica333: In high school I was best known as “Hey what’s your friends name?”
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@Sal0630: Boss: I'll tell you what I want Me: So tell me what you want, what you really really want *office breaks into Spice Girls dance routine
@TheToddWilliams: [dinner] WIFE: This risotto is rich ME: Ah, 'rich' from the Old English 'rīċe' meaning powerful, and likely cognate with Proto-Celtic 'rigos' meaning "of a ruler or king" WIFE: Still listening to that history of English podcast? ME: … WIFE: … ME: …from the Latin 'Anglus'
@Cheeseboy22: Sometimes I'll stop the treadmill at the gym and run in place. When people ask me what I'm doing, I'll say, "Pretend stoplight."
@Thedudish: My neighbor's dog is so popular that every time he barks, the neighborhood dogs RT him.