@Chumpstring: In high school I was voted Most Likely to Be Shot Dead While Trying to Steal Something of Moderate Value From a Texan.
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@HeyZeus666: Intellectual. A man who can explain electricity but doesn't know how to screw in a light bulb.
@Tmoney68: [Corporate Olive Garden meeting, 1985] Jesus: Let's do unlimited breadsticks. CEO: How can we supply that many? Jesus: *winks at camera*
@rickolantern: Imagine how expensive the iPhone would be if they called themselves Organic Apple.