@Kid_topher: In high school, people called me "Superman" due to my light eyes and physical build. Also because I wore my underwear on top of my pants.
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@Chumpstring: In high school I was voted Most Likely to Be Shot Dead While Trying to Steal Something of Moderate Value From a Texan.
@skickwriter: Saying you like a lot of meat in your taco is received differently on Twitter than it is on Facebook. I know that now.
@aka_fatman: *Jesus, bursting out of a chest cavity, spraying the room with blood and viscera* "My God, Johnny? DID YOU LET CHRIST INTO YOUR HEART?!?"
@ShortWhiteNUgly: An 8 yr old boy was screaming at the grocery store because his mom wouldn't buy him a Mars bar. So I bought one and ate it in front of him.