@ericsshadow: In Hillary's defense. A lot of your friends probably give you $15,000,000 a few times a year and don't expect anything in return.
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@pinupteacher: Time out. Otters not only sleep holding hands, but have a SPECIAL POCKET to hold their favorite rock? Humans are bullshit.
@doctorveritas: "It's possible to touch birds!" I say suddenly. My coworkers stare at me. I wander outside to touch some birds.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Notice how women didn't complain when they did an all-male version of Sex & The City called Entourage.
@jonnysun: [normal life] ive worn the same shirt everyday for a week [packing for vacation] hmmm. i'll prob change a few times a day so thats…32 shirts